TV Reviews

‘Dragon Ball Z Resurrection F’ film review

For some reason I wrote this early August when the movie was showing in theatres, right after I saw it, but never got round to publishing it. Hope you enjoy nonetheless. By the way, I watched the dubbed version rather than the subbed version, because that’s how I watched DBZ as a kid, and even if I didn’t I probably wouldn’t really give a damn and watch it subbed anyway.

Full disclosure: Was wearing nostalgic goggles.

Man I must have not watched Dragon Ball Z since I was in Primary School, so about 10 years or more. I used to love watching it after Pokemon on Cheez TV on Network Ten. Those were the days.

The last movie, Battle of the Gods a few years back, was the first Dragon Ball Z anime story in about 15 years, I didn’t see that one though, so this was all through fresh eyes.

I didn’t need some amazing reboot or extravaganza that put the series in new directions, I just wanted the DBZ that I remember and loved. For some, that might not be good enough, because this movie doesn’t do anything groundbreaking. It’s almost like an extended sitcom episode, where a badness happens, and everything resets. And just like the Japanese Godzilla movies, a baddie comes along, and Goku shows up and deals with it.

I was fine with that. The characters are just as I remember, Goku’s still the goofy hero, Vegeta’s still the anti-hero in a rivalry with “Kakkarot”.

Krillin’s still a dork, Android #18 still acts like an Android. Bulma is the matriarch. Piccolo senses stuff. I don’t remember Master Roshi being buff when he felt like it, but okay.

I was surprised how funny it was. It felt very much like the show I remember.

This film is very true to the original anime. It plays out exactly how’d you expect and want, unless you wanted a revoltion. Yes it’s more of the same, but I didn’t care. Just a few Kamehamehas and I’m good.

I guess the only part I didn’t like was the ending. Felt a little bit like a cop-out, and was a bit predictable. Oh well, still a great movie. A MUST for DBZ fans, just don’t expecting anything new. For most of us, that will be enough.

Rating: 4/5.

“The Inbetweeners Movie” review

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It must be really challenging to turn a hit TV show into a film. I remember watching Jerry Seinfeld being interviewed about his film, Bee Movie, and how the experience made him respect moviemakers a lot more. He had believed that writing a movie was just like putting four episodes of a half-hour TV show together. It can’t be that simple; the only easy part is just telling one story instead of several. The Inbetweeners Movie goes for ninety minutes and I think the material just manages to hold on to the running time. I’ve been a huge fan of The Inbetweeners for a number of weeks now…hang on it’s actually not even two…but it’s still in my top shows of all time.

Keep in mind this film review will contain spoilers.

I highly recommend you watch all the episodes of the series before you watch the film. The film is a gift to the show’s audience. That’s not to say that those who haven’t watched the show will enjoy the movie, but I recommend that new fans start with the show.

Four boys who aren’t part of the geek crowd but also not cool, are what we call “the inbetweeners”. They are William McKenzie (Simon Bird), Simon Cooper (Joe Thomas), Jay Cartwright (James Buckley) and Neil Sutherland (Blake Sutherland). If you want to know more about the TV series, I suggest you read my review on it before you even think about watching the movie.

Here it is, but if you can’t be bothered, I’ll provide a snippet.

https://stefanb33.wordpress.com/2013/01/28/the-inbetweeners-complete-uk-series-review/

 

“The Inbetweeners is a British sitcom that focuses on four teenage boys living in the British suburbs, who go to school at Rudge Park Comprehensive. The series begins when Will Mckenzie (Simon Bird) starts his first day at the school. Will is the central character and the show’s narrator, and had moved to the comprehensive school after his parents divorced, as his mother could no longer afford private schooling. The friends he chooses to be associated with (Simon, Jay and Neil) aren’t popular, but they aren’t geeks either, placing their social standing in the middle, which is where the show’s title comes from; they are “the inbetweeners”.”

 

The Inbetweeners Movie, which can be said to be a “coming-of-age” comedy film, takes place months after the final episode of the show. The boys have completed their A-Levels, meaning that high school is over. Now 18 years old, they travel to Malia, Greece to go on holiday. Going on holiday with friends and without parents in the time off between the end of school and the beginning of university is a rite of passage for a lot of young people. The Brits don’t have a word for this; Australians call it “schoolies” (or “binge-drinking week”).

Keeping with the show’s tradition, the boys are keen on clubbing, getting drunk and scoring girls, especially as their track record with the ladies hasn’t been very good (except for Neil, one could say). They awkwardly introduce themselves to girls in a club, and they become interested in each other. Another series staple present in the film is the humour that is so rude and so very British.

This is my first retro review of a film (although it’s quite new in the US), meaning I had the opportunity to watch it again after my first viewing. As I made clear in my review of the show, The Inbetweeners is a five star show with not a single bad episode and so many funny moments. Does the movie live up to the almost flawless show? Unfortunately, no, it doesn’t, but it’s still a really good treat for the fans of the show. I appreciated it a lot more after repeated viewings.

A joy of the TV series was how its portrayal of the unpopular boys felt realistic. Instead of each episode having a happy ending, the boys’ attempts at getting laid or getting popular would usually fail miserably in such a hilarious fashion. How can we forget Will and Simon almost getting laid on multiple occasions? Teenage boys could easily relate to these guys. Now a lot of that is still in the movie – in fact there are plenty of hilarious stuff-ups. It’s a happy ending though, which seems to be against the spirit of the show for some. I disagree with this, because the movie is supposed to be the show’s finale. It’s also a ninety minute story rather than twenty minutes, so there has to be character development, which works fine as we see the boys grow up (a bit).

There are rumours about a follow-up film, but assuming this is the last story featuring these characters, I believe it ended quite nicely. After all the blokes’ blunders, it is poignant to see things end well, and to see the characters change for the better. Neil even shares with Will an important life lesson, and it’s actually a (mostly) really clever one. It was also great to finally see Simon finally settle things with Carli. The boys won the girls, but they had to work for it, except for Neil, who took it for granted. If this is the end, it’s fine by me. If there’s another film, I’m not sure if they’ll be able to outdo themselves, and make a fair point about why it needed to exist.

Fans of the TV series will love The Inbetweeners Movie. Those who aren’t familiar with the show can still enjoy it. If you hate the show, don’t even bother. It’s not as funny as the show, but it’s definitely worth seeing and is a great end for these hilarious characters.

I give The Inbetweeners Movie 4.5/5. It was a 4 on my first viewing, but I love this show so much, and the movie delivered the fans everything they wanted.

“The Inbetweeners” complete UK series review

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My friends had told me about this show. I knew it was a comedy, but oh my lord I found it far funnier than I could have ever imagined. This viewpoint came from watching just one episode. It’s definitely one of my favourite shows, and I demand you to watch it right now if you haven’t.

The Inbetweeners is a British sitcom that focuses on four teenage boys living in the British suburbs, who go to school at Rudge Park Comprehensive. The series begins when Will Mckenzie (Simon Bird) starts his first day at the school. Will is the central character and the show’s narrator, and had moved to the comprehensive school after his parents divorced, as his mother could no longer afford private schooling. The friends he chooses to be associated with (Simon, Jay and Neil) aren’t popular, but they aren’t geeks either, placing their social standing in the middle, which is where the show’s title comes from; they are “the inbetweeners”.

Will is the most sensible of the group, although arguably considered the most boring. This doesn’t stop him from making bad choices and suffering from what I like to call “Bad Luck Brian” syndrome. He also makes his fair share of offensive remarks and upsets/annoys/angers a lot of people throughout the series with his actions. He wants to be accepted, being aware of his lack of coolness. He also wants to get in a good university and get laid.

Simon Cooper (Joe Thomas), like the other boys, was reluctant to become friends with Will, but decides he is alright when Will was the only one not to make fun of him. He has had a crush on the beautiful Carli D’Amato for many years, and the relationship between the two is explored in many episodes, as Simon can’t seem to stop thinking about her.  Many of his decision making involves him trying to impress her or avoid being humiliated in front of her. He is one of the kindest of the four boys, and Will is closer to him than the others.

Every time I hear or see James Buckley, I keep thinking of The Beatles from when I saw them in A Hard Day’s Night. Sorry, that’s irrelevant. Anyway, he plays Jay Cartwright, who is based on that guy we all know in school who makes up bullshit stories of their sexual conquests that are either extremely exaggerated or are just utterly untrue. Will is the one who has the hardest time believing anything that Jay says, while Neil nearly always believes it. His stories, true or not, are highly entertaining regardless, and he likes to make fun of the others with his highly offensive British tongue.

The dumb one is Neil Sutherland, played by Blake Harrison. He’s gullible and simple minded. While he often joins in on ridiculing the others, he also can be quite friendly and seems to be less selfish than the others. He is the least developed character on the show, which is fine because he is there to be funny. Despite not being as obsessed with sex as the others, Neil is by far the most successful in his encounters with girls. He has a habit of saying the funniest things at the right times.

Other characters include Carli D’Amato (Emily Head), Simon’s main love interest; Mr. Gilbert (Greg Davies), the very cynical head of sixth form, who seems to hate his job and the students he is supposed to be responsible for; Charlotte Hinchcliffe (Emily Atack), the most popular girl in the school; Mark Donovan (Henry Lloyd-Hughes), the school bully who becomes Will’s nemesis from the start; and the family members of the four boys.

There is a lot of swearing on this show, as you would imagine teenage boys to speak, with lots of rude sexual slang and derogatory terms. I love British comedies, and the British background of this show certainly seems to work in its favour. Some of my favourite quotes contain British slang, and like fellow British comedies The Office and Extras, there are extremely funny awkward moments and strong comic timing. All of the main characters are incredibly funny and interesting.

The episodes involve the boys doing typical teenage boy things, such as going to parties, trying to get laid, participating in underage drinking and pulling stunts to improve their social status in the school. Poor decision making by the characters as well as bad luck and social awkwardness usually leads to extremely embarrassing and awkward outcomes. As all of us who have been to high school knows, skipping school, going camping, getting with the popular girl, going clubbing, studying for exams, going camping, dating and having sex for the first time doesn’t always end in the way we wanted it too, as the inbetweeners find out.

Anyone who is familiar with British shows would be aware that a very small amount of episodes is produced in each year’s series (known as “season” in Australia and the USA).  Most UK shows produce six episodes a series whereas American shows produce approximately twenty to twenty-four a season. The Inbetweeners ran from 2008 to 2010, producing three series of six episodes, totalling to eighteen, which is less than one season of most American shows. This is because most British shows have one or two writers, whereas American shows have many writers. The good thing about this is that The Inbetweeners didn’t overstay its welcome, and that unlike watching an entire American series such as Friends (ten seasons with approximately twenty-two episodes each), you can watch all the episodes in a short period of time (I stopped watching Friends about halfway through as it was taking up too much time and I never got round to finishing it). You can also watch the episodes all over again. I mean, I wanted to watch Seinfeld again from the start, but will I ever? Probably not, it’s too much of a time investment. Not only do I love The Inbetweeners, but with just eighteen episodes and all of them being great, I’ll have time to watch them again. I’m not trying to say I don’t like shows that have over a hundred episodes, because I love How I Met Your Mother and 30 Rock at the moment, but watching all those episodes takes a lot of time.

So, let’s look at the facts. The Inbetweeners is one of my favourite shows, and I find it as funny as The IT Crowd, also one of the funniest shows I’ve seen. There are only eighteen episodes, meaning it won’t take too long to watch them all. That would be my only criticism, which is a completely unfair one as I just wish there were more episodes. There is not a single bad episode; in fact, all of them are great, so on the other hand, the show ended on a high note. Oh, but there is The Inbetweeners Movie, which I haven’t had the privilege of seeing yet but I’m sure I’ll enjoy it as a massive fan. I’ll be sure to review it too. There’s also that American version which I hadn’t heard good things about, and the trailer I saw made my blood boil a little, but that’s not part of the real Inbetweeners canon.

To sum up, all episodes are fantastic. Hilarious characters that say hilarious things and get involved in hilarious situations that end hilariously. If you are looking for a good comedy, you’ve come to the right place. The Inbetweeners is rude and – for high school students past and present – it feels incredibly true to life. The British humour shines admirably. You must watch this show!

I rate the entire show, as in Series One, Two and Three, a perfect score of 5 out of 5.

“Family Guy” Season 10 DVD review

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My problem with the last season or two of Family Guy is that they’ve stopped making the show enjoyable. No-one would call Family Guy the most original or the smartest show on television, but almost everyone agreed that it’s one of the funniest around. Well, that was before, nowadays I say it used to be one of the funniest shows on television. Jokes miss the mark, go too far and/or just jump out of nowhere with no relevance to the plot whatsoever. To this season’s credit, it was an improvement on the last DVD which I remember only having 3 good episodes; this was one had 5. 5 episodes out of 15 isn’t a good thing and barely an improvement. Note that this review will contain spoilers.

This is a review of the Australian DVD, which is different to the American one. This one’s the tenth “season”, even though it should be called Volume Ten like the American DVDs, which have different episodes in them. That sounded less confusing in my head, but go type “Family Guy DVDs” on Wikipedia and that will explain things. On the Australian Season 10 DVD, it contains the latter 12 episodes of the actual Season 8 and the first 3 episodes of the actual Season 9. I don’t know why they don’t just release them in the proper seasons, it makes things really difficult.

The episodes that worked this season had a good story, giving us a good reason to keep watching and reminding us that we are watching an animated sitcom, rather than a skit show. I remember being pleasantly surprised during one episode when each cutaway gag seemed natural and relevant rather than a joke they were desperately trying to put in. The majority of them weren’t like this however, like the writers take the show for granted and just write it as fast as they can so they can go home, eat dinner, go to sleep, wake up, smell the roses and spend all that money. In fact I distinctly remember listening to the commentary on the last DVD on one of the episodes that has further imprinted this idea in my head. During an obvious movie reference, if I remember correctly, the crew “joked” (sad part is I believe them), that movie references like this is the only reason that these episodes are written. That doesn’t surprise me as it seems like a lot of the cutaway gags reflect this. So there you go, that’s why Family Guy sucks nowadays.

Early on one of the better episodes, “Dial Meg for Murder”, demonstrated why we watch this show. It had a good story, where Meg goes to prison after hiding her boyfriend who had escaped from prison. When she gets out she becomes a completely different person. The ending of the episode is both heart-warming and calls back to something from the beginning of the episode that started the whole plot, which was quite clever. It also had a funny subplot, with Peter becoming a bull’s bitch after trying out the rodeo, which is definitely something that would happen to him.

Another episode worth talking about was “Brian & Stewie”. This episode was a drastic departure from the usual Family Guy episode. Brian and Stewie get trapped in a bank vault over a weekend. They are the only main characters featured, obviously there are no sub-plots and this is the only episode without any cutaway gags. I’ve been reading things saying “if you wanted to know what Family Guy is like without cutaway gags, this episode is it”. My response to that is that if they wanted to know what it was like, well…  American Dad has been on the air for years. The significance of the episode is the moments between the two characters. They almost ruined it, by having one of the most disgusting scenes I have ever seen. Brian eating Stewie’s poo fails to be funny, but I know there are some odd people that will love it. On the good side, Brian and Stewie got the chance to express their feelings about each other and life in general, and end on a positive and dramatic note. I applaud the Family Guy crew for trying something new, even though the poo parts were a bit much.

There is a murder-mystery episode on this DVD. It will definitely become a classic. Many of the show’s characters are invited to James Wood’s mansion, and then the murders begin. Several characters are killed off and the ending was well played. This double episode was well-written, engaging and funny; most importantly the plot wasn’t all over the place. That’s all I’m going to say as I don’t want to spoil this one.

Overall, while a stronger season (or volume) than the last, it wasn’t significantly better. Most episodes weren’t that good and will just make you mourn for what the show once was. Family Guy is neither original nor intelligent, but at least in the past it was consistently funny and that was all we needed. Now it’s just getting tired and far too random. I honestly wouldn’t be sad if Seth McFarlene put this show to rest permanently, unless he and his crew make an effort to write more than 5 good scripts a season. The few episodes that were good just don’t justify spending money on the DVD, which is why I give this DVD 2/5.

“30 Rock” season 1 DVD review

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With the Season 1 DVD just lying around unwatched, I thought that since I recently finished watching all seasons of Scrubs that I’d chuck on 30 Rock. What I discovered is that 30 Rock is actually quite similar to Scrubs in a number of ways. They both utilise a single-camera setup, they are both primarily set in the central character’s workplace and both have a wide range of memorable characters. Even the writing and humour of the two shows I found to be quite similar. While I think Scrubs is a more creative show, it would be unfair for me to compare the two when I’ve only seen one season of 30 Rock.

30 Rock is an American TV show starring and created by Tina Fey. It’s a sitcom that satirises television, and draws inspiration from Fey’s experience writing for Saturday Night Live30 Rock is set in a television studio where Fey’s character Liz Lemon works with her employees to produce a weekly live sketch comedy show while also dealing with her personal life. While Liz Lemon is undeniably the central character, 30 Rock features an ensemble cast, with 7 cast members in Season One.

The series begins when Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) becomes the new network executive and it’s his job to reboot Liz Lemon’s series The Girly Show. He convinces Lemon to hire actor Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan), who has previously demonstrated wild behaviour in the past. Donaghy makes major changes to the show, such as its name and focusing it on Tracy, which takes the attention off attention-craving Girlie Show star Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski). Other main characters are Pete Hornberger (Scott Adsit), the wise producer with a troubled marriage; Kenneth Parcell (Jack McBrayer), the hilariously naive NBC page; and the rude and disgusting writer Frank Rossitano (Judah Friedlander). All the characters, including the supporting cast, are great and it’s fun to watch them develop during the season. Alec Baldwin’s character almost makes the show and it’s worth watching 30 Rock just to see what Jack Donaghy gets up to. Frank is the most underdeveloped character on the show, and he seems more like a peripheral character at times rather than a main cast member.

I really enjoyed the season; nearly all of the episodes are really funny and memorable. The more 30 Rock you watch, the better it gets. There were plenty of hilarious situations and character moments. Even the pilot episode provides a lot of laughs. I can only recall one subpar episode, which had rather poor writing and an ending that went a little bit too far. The final episode also doesn’t end the story arcs on a very satisfying note. Despite this, I really want to keep watching.  If only I can get my hands on the second DVD.

And speaking of the DVD, there are absolutely no special features. There’s no commentary, not even subtitles. You get what you get – 21 episodes on three discs.

It’s never a dull moment with 30 Rock, with the writing being both sharp and witty. The cast members are outstanding, and you’ll love them more and more as well as the show itself the more you watch. I think everyone should give this show a chance, especially if you’re a fan of Scrubs.

I give 30 Rock Season One a score of 4/5. The DVD features (or lack thereof) did not impact the score.

Note: I wrote this review at least 3 months ago. I saved it for a special moment, such as now as my studies are getting a little too hectic for me to find time to write these. Just so you know, I am currently up to Season 4, Kenneth is currently my favourite character and the show just gets better and better. It just started its final season, so now is the perfect time to watch it!

How I Met Your Mother

 

You must watch this show! There’s my recommendation, right off the bat. Though I have a good feeling you’ve watched at least one episode of this show. A critical and commercial success in the United States, How I Met Your Mother is one of the best sitcoms ever made. With such failures such as ‘Till Death, Accidently on Purpose, Back to You and…Two and a Half Men (shut up it should be!!!!!), multi-camera comedies were having a hard time in the 2000s while its single-camera cousins such as Scrubs, Modern Family and 30 Rock were doing well. The golden years of American multi-camera set-up comedies of the ‘90s in the vein of sitcoms such as Friends, Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond and Frasier, may be a distant memory, but How I Met Your Mother can easily sit next to the above when it comes to quality.

How I Met Your Mother’s premise is the main character, Ted Mosby, in the year 2030, tells his son and daughter the various happenings that eventually led to him meeting their mother. Using voiceover narration to tell the story, Ted’s various adventures are set in our present day, in Manhatten, New York City. Telling a story that happened 20 years ago can be tough, so Future Ted is an unreliable narrator, although the writer’s have made an effort to establish a strong continuity. These stories focus on Ted (who narrates using voiceovers) and his friends Marshall Eriksen, Robin Scherbatsky, Lily Aldrin and Barney Stinson. Each episode has a number of flashbacks and flashforwards, making it a non-linear show. The relationship between the characters is quite similar to Friends, as the main themes are the friendships, social lives and romances of the main characters. The other thing that’s similar to Friends is the majority of the scenes is filmed in Marshall, Lily and Ted’s apartment and the Central Perk cafe in Friends is replaced with the bar MacLarens.  What appears on the outside is a Friends rip-off, but How I Met Your Mother is much more than that. Here’s a warning for the minor Seasons 1-3 spoilers that lurk below.

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In the beginning of Season 1, present day Ted (2005), a 27-year-old architect, decides to search for his perfect woman after his roommates and friends, Marshall, a law student, and Lily, a kindergarten teacher, get engaged. He takes an interest in Robin, a Canadian reporter. Ted’s friend/wingman, Barney, spends most episodes trying to sleep with women through elaborate schemes.

I just finished watching Season 3, and I’m so impressed by how consistently good the series has been. There hasn’t been a single bad episode, and the show creates so many memorable ideas. Off the top off my head I’m thinking of the Bro Code, Revertigo, Barney’s “Legendary” phrase, Riding the Tricycle, the Hot Crazy Scale, The Platinum Rule. All these were featured in Season 3.

Season 8 is about to air, and rumours are abounding that it’s the last. While I haven’t watched Seasons 4-7 yet, it would make sense for the show to end this coming season or the one after because Ted spending more than 8 or 9 years finding the mother might make the show’s audience impatient. I really hope the series finale is worth it, because even Seasons 1-3 contain many hints and teasers to the identity of the mother.

You will be astonished on the creativity this series offers. It’s no wonder How I Met Your Mother has become a cultural phenomenon. I do strongly recommend obtaining whatever means you can to catch up all seven seasons as soon as possible, because the show creates tons and tons of surprises. Read as little about the show as possible and watch as much as possible between now and the final episode. I certainly want to be along the ride once that final episode airs. Anyway, I better start watching Season 4, so I’ll quickly wrap this up by rating what I’ve seen (Seasons 1-3) of How I Met Your Mother, a perfect score of 5/5.

Being Lara Bingle and The Shire

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My friend dared me to watch an episode each of Being Lara Bingle and The Shire and to review them in this blog, and I took up his challenge. It seems fair, because how can I diss these two shows when I haven’t actually watched them? Well now I have, but keep in mind that this blog is more of a “first impression”, rather than a review, because I can’t really review a show after watching one episode. Though I suppose I can still give a rating to the episodes I watched.

Reportedly, Network Ten’s ratings and profits have gone down lately. I guess it’s no surprise as the only high rating show I can think of still showing on Channel Ten is Masterchef, which is going through the motions. Desperate times, call for desperate measures, which must be why the network adds a few easy reality shows to its schedule. The Seven Network has much more reality shows than the Nine Network or Ten, but at least it didn’t produce The Shire.

I hope Being Lara Bingle wins the “No Reason to Exist” award at the Logies, though the Logies would probably win that prize too. I don’t really have to explain what the show is about because the title gives it away. On catch-up TV online I watched the first episode and found it beyond pointless. The exception to this was the scene when her car was pulled over by the cops because she was driving in the bus lane. Her licence – that she forgot at home – got suspended again. All this occurred with a few paparazzi filming and taking photos at the scene. Pretty funny stuff, but that was the only good thing that episode. The rest was just Lara explaining her life to the Australian public, which will probably make her more famous and increase the paparazzi following even more. Apparently this show was “written” by Lara, as it states on the Wikipedia article, but explain to me how a reality show is written…unless everything that happened in the episode was set-up! But that’s me thinking too much about a show I’m not going to watch ever again anyway. If you’re the kind of person who reads celebrity magazines, you might give a damn about Being Lara Bingle. Then again, Lara getting done by the police with the paparazzi watching was rather entertaining; I’ll give it that. I rate episode one 2/5.

Ten’s desperation has led them to find a bunch of good looking people with relatively low IQs and ask them if they don’t mind having cameras watching as they do either stupid or boring things. The Shire is what became of this grand, ambitious vision. The Shire is set in the Sunderland Shire (or The Shire for short, as you probably guessed) in New South Wales. Coincidentally, though by all means not a shocking revelation at all, Lara Bingle also hails from The Shire. This place doesn’t have the greatest reputation in the state, so it’s no surprise Channel Ten chose it for their TV show and even less surprising that the real people living in the area don’t think very highly of the show. Well I think they have a point, as the people on this show don’t seem to represent Australia well, but they do represent “STRAYA”.

The Shire is billed by Ten as a “dramality”, which is quite an awkward looking word, obviously putting together “drama” and “reality”. So yes, it’s a reality show, but there’s drama! Although I think dramality means that the reality is that The Shire is dramatically horrible TV. Two of the morons the show follows are two chicks who may be true best friends, but have fake bodies. They have fake lips, fake boobs and fake tans. One of them stated they wanted their lips bigger, but her doctor said her current lips almost touch the bottom of her nose.  What a damn shame. Nothing much happens to them in this episode, except discussing whether they’d rather have a good looking kid or a smart one…and then they get botox. I hope these two realise that a lot of people are disgusted by plastic, fake and manufactured girls walking the streets. They go overboard. Another “character” is Beckaa, the only name I remember because it looks and sounds icky. In this episode, she returns from Dubai and hops in a limo with her father and she reveals how she got a nose job and spent $15,000 like she always does. Her dad doesn’t mind too much. Wow, I’ve never seen someone so spoilt. She looks fake too, when will these dumb chicks learn? Last storyline involves some jock and his ex-girlfriend who wants him back. Upcoming episodes are going to introduce new characters, I MEAN new real people, but I’m not going to watch anymore. There is a rock chick apparently in upcoming episodes whose band appears to be on the verge of success. That’s actually something I would be interested to watch but I don’t want to put up with the rest of the high school level banter from the other cast members .I know some people are interested in these sorts of things presented in these shows, but it makes me want to smash the remote through the TV and hopefully lower the ratings during the process.

Can Channel Ten arrange to rename The Shire as “The Shite”? That might be insulting to the people from The Shire, but it really is how I feel about this stupid show. I’ve heard comparisons to The Hills, Jersey Shore and Geordie Shore, shows I’ve never seen, but I have also heard that those shows are entertaining while The Shite is not. Despite this, maybe there’s a chance you’ll enjoy The Shite if you like those shows. Most likely you’ve seen the ads on television; The Shite is exactly what is presented in the ads. Did you like what you saw in the ads? Well give The Shite a try, though I rather you didn’t because I think it’s the scum of the idiot box. I give the premiere of The Shite, 1/5.

I wondered why Lara Bingle was considered important enough to have her own show when I heard about it. Little did I know that Channel Ten was planning a bigger monstrosity that I like to call The Shite. Even if you think you’d enjoy them, please don’t watch either of these shows. At least Masterchef had a beneficial effect on society. Channel Ten thought that these shows were a good idea, I think they are crap. Don’t watch them! Even if you think you’d like them, don’t watch them! Do something useful with your time, like writing a reality show about residents from Dandenong and naming it That’s Dandy!